Monday, July 18, 2005

I'm Just a Bill

1 Cervical Spine Four-Five Views = $203.50
1 CT Scan Abdomen = $1,155.00
1 CT Scan Pelvis = $1,100.00
1 CT Thorax = $990.00
1 Emergency Department = $860.00
1 Doc - Critical Care (1st hour) = $300.00
1 Doc - Critical Care (1/2 hour) = $150.00
1 IV Initial Hour = $ $300.00
14 MG Morphine = $74.85
Etc. Etc. etc.

Less Than Two Hours in the ER = $6,743.95

1 Broken Boyfriend Getting Fixed in Emergency Room = Priceless

That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Today the first of what's sure to be many bills arrived. It's from the ER in Richmond, where Jason was treated for less than two hours, before he was transfered to another hospital.

Nearly $7,000 for less than two hours. I looked at that bill and got so hysterical, I couldn't stop laughing. Like, "Yeah, lemme just grab my new Louis Vuitton clutch. You want that cash?"

Then I got REALLY hysterical and in more of a bad way. I started to think about the helicopter ride to the next hospital. The days Jason spent in the intensive care unit. The surgery. The food. The doctor and nurse hours. The medication. The wheelchair. The rest of his 17 DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL.

If it's $7,000 for less than two hours of ER treatment, what the hell are the rest of the bills going to be like?

Mother of God. It's enough to turn me Canadian.

I was already eyeballing everything the nurses used on Jason. In my mind, every tissue was $10. Every piece of gauze was another $30. Every bandage another benjamin.

And now I find out I was right!

I swear, if Jason wasn't being discharged tomorrow, I would be restocking his room with my own Kleenex, Band-aids and maybe a bottle of Advil and Jack Daniels to kill the pain.

Jason really is worth every penny, but MY GOD. This hospital stay is already using up every single penny we always wished we had.


At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to let you know, those x-rays, that first price is just for the TAKING of the x-ray, you're going to be charged again for the actual reading of the x-ray by a radiologist. That's just gonna add more money. Sorry.


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